The unwritten parts of the recipe

As any cook knows, recipes are just a starting point, a guideline.

You have to fill in the unwritten parts yourself.

So, may I suggest the unwritten parts that go with this recipe?

• First, between each sentence of the instructions, add:
  

  
  Drink a beer.
  



• Second, at the end of the instructions, add:
  

  
  Drink two more beers while you cook the turkey. Then look at the oven and realize you forgot to turn it on. It's ok, you didn't own a meat thermometer anyway. Throw the whole mess away and call out for pizza.