Rebel Moon, reviewed by somebody else.

This review of Rebel Moon by SFChronicle columnist Drew Magary, is the best and most accurate movie review I've seen in years. Every word is oh, so true.

I am suffering. This movie is awful and promises to get no better. None of the characters are interesting. All of the visuals look like a high-budget Scorpions video. The script is like if you assigned a dozen seventh graders 10 pages each. And the fight scenes are boring as s—t. The more of “Rebel Moon” I watch, the more running time I appear to have left. You should get your name on a wall for finishing this movie, like when you polish off the 96-ounce London broil at Jim Bob’s Steak Barn. I really want to stop watching “Rebel Moon” and play some PlayStation. The effects alone would be 10 times better, and I can just finish the movie tomorrow morning. But I’ve come too far now. At this point, “Rebel Moon” is less a movie to me than it is a challenge, and I refuse to back down. I will defeat this movie, even if I die in slow motion while trying.

My review, had I bothered to even try to write one, would have been nowhere near as fun to read as Magary's, but would have come to precisely the same conclusion.